Antagonism

There seems to be a kind of order in the universe, in the movement of the stars, and the turning of the earth, the changing of the seasons. But human life is almost pure chaos! Everyone takes his stance, asserts his own rights and feelings, mistaking the motives of others, and his own.

Everything that happens, happens for a reason. It's simply an antagonistic reaction between two scenarios or situations...there's always a cause and an effect, an answer to every question, a reason to trust behind every doubt.

It's hard...

It's hard to fight the things we are afraid of. Sometimes we just need a little help.

I got this from somewhere. Can't remember exactly where. I think that's so true. So if anyone, anytime, ever needs a little help, just know that I'm here, u might not think so, but I am..truly.

cruelty?

have u ever wondered how cruel life can be? it's only when u miss out on something that's supposed to be ever so meaningful..or when u lose something/someone who had a big impact on ur life that u finally come to ur senses to actually realise that YES life is indeed cruel~!

it causes u the misery, the pain, the suffering, the wondering, the hurt, the tears, the longing, every possible emotion along those lines.

well i have no right to question God and his works, the only thing i CAN do is pray..n continue praying that each n every one of us, me included will be blessed with a beautiful life..that we may find true meaning in our lives, find the reason for living, n to find out God's plan for us.

i thought this was nice:

"As happens sometimes, a moment settled, and hovered, and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And then the moment was gone."
-from the book "Of Mice and Men" by John Steinback.

-n/a-

i've been reasonably busy lately and that's the reason i never got the chance to actually sit down n blog. however!! here i am now!!

april started off with a blast. it was a fren's bday. was over at his house till the break of dawn! yakking n yakking away, having fun, laughing non stop, just pure hanging out with frens. came back home at 7am, n for some reason i couldnt sleep. got up about 10-ish, n was surprisingly awake! that is until i got to work..was so dead by the time i finished work at midnite. other than that, went for a movie outting with SAM (singapore association of monash). watched miss congeniality 2 for $5. pretty good deal eh? went shopping too!!! got myself a winter jacket for $50.

i'm gonna die from next week onwards! i've got assignments due non stop right till the end of semester! minimum 2 maximum 3 assignments EACH week!! crap!

my nerd score

Got to know about this site from a fren of mine. It's really cool..c how much of a nerd u r..as for me...


http://www.wxplotter.com/ft_nq.php?im

anyways, i'm really tired..i'll blog some other time.

Happy Easter everyone~!!!

*Wishing for the impossible*

Uni's started and i'm getting more and more busy by the day...although i don't have any assignments due as yet..just goin to uni n attending lectures n tutes makes me bz..ahhahaha.

Oh n yea..i'm wishing for the impossible..most of the things i want in life..it's almost impossible to get..i wouldn't say it's totally impossible to get..cos i know someway..somehow..someday..i MIGHT get it. But still..everything seems impossible at this very day..at this very moment..*sigh* How i wish life was much simpler than this..that life wouldn't be that harsh n cruel..that i would get a little more credit in life..

all wishes..but will they ever come true? i'm starting to have doubts..someone~~give me a sign, show me a light, reassure me..give me confidence..give me faith..give me..

I'm lost and confused

I'm in that particular stage in life, where i feel so lost n so confused. It's as if my life is missing something, something that makes life itself so meaningless. At this very moment, I'm not sure whether i'm doin the right things or even making the best choices and right decisions. Somehow, everything seems so foggy to me, as if a cloud has hovered over my head, blocking my view of everything. I believe what i need now, is some sort of sign, ANY sign, to give me reassurance, to show that i'm on the right path, that i am doin the right things for the right reasons. PLEASE GOD, give me a sign.

A friend told me, being a good student, a good daughter, an independent person, and a faithful servant of God, is reason enough to prove that i am on the right track in life. He also said (or something to that effect) that it's something good that we're worrying bout our future NOW, when some others are not even bothered about their future yet. Which elevates us to an upper hand..

Me~goin insane?!?!

Since i last blogged, a lot has been happening..but nothing particularly significant or bizarre enough to actually talk about - just little things. However, it is those little things in life that makes life much much more precious n meaningful. Don't u think so?

Anyhooo, in the past week or so, work has been taking up most of my time. Yet, that didn't bother me much cos many of my frens were not back from holidays yet. Now that uni's started, everyone's back, n i've been goin over to their houses more often. That's my resort to staying sane..as in my house, lights are out by 11pm (they work the next morning, that's y). In this case i get bored very very easily, so to get out of my world of boredom, hanging out at someone else's place is the key to sanity~!!

Snail's pace

Waiting for the days to pass is killing me~!! when i want time to pass at lightning speed it's passing at snail's pace. Counting down the days..n it seems so slow. *sigh* yet..it will still come.

*Praying that the days will go by faster than ever*

*That when i open my eyes, it will be it*

*Hoping that this will be something good*

*Anxiously waiting*

Chinese New Year

I've shifted into my new house already. It's much bigger than the old house i was staying in. On monday i had to get up early cos the table we bought from Freedom was scheduled for delivery on that morning. They said they were coming between 9-11am. So i had to wait n wait n wait for them cos they only came at bout 10:30. I actually dozed off waiting for them! I still couldn't sleep after the table came in. I had to wait for the foxtel ppl to come in and install foxtel. The technician came in at around 1pm. Poor him..he had such a hard time with the wiring. Apparently there was some problem with the wall. He spent at least 2 hours doin the wiring ONLY!! All in all, he finished the installation after at least 3 hours, which otherwise would have taken him only half the time. Anyway with foxtel installed, at least i have something to do at home. Otherwise i'm bored to death!

Was working Tuesday n Wednesday. Tuesday was alrite at work..just a normal nite. Wednesday however, being the first day of Chinese New Year, was ever so busy!! It was like everyone came in at the same time, so there was a bit of a rush. And for watever the reason it was, people seemed to drink a lot that nite. We sold scotch like no body's business~!!! We had a lot of mixers to make. Plus~!! we were serving *Yee Sang* so we had extra work n service to offer. We definitely had to talk more..explaining what the *Yee Sang* symbolizes n stuff regarding tradition n the chinese customs, bla bla bla.. LUCKILY i was working with Brenda, cos she knows exactly what she's doin. Anyhoo..dinner at work that nite was superb!! We had *Yee Sang*, long life noodles (or is it prosperity noodles~i'm not too sure) and CRAYFISH~!!!! (It's like lobster)WoohooO!!! It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO yummy!! Best dinner ever!

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!! Hope u have a happy n prosperous year ahead!!

Shifting house

I've been so busy shifting house that i don't even have the time to blog. The weekend was one hectic weekend! We had boxes n boxes of stuff to be moved..seemed neverending! Anyways, i'll blog again some time soon i hope.

To all Chinese, Wishing u a happy and prosperous chinese new year! hope the year of the rooster brings u good luck through out the year!

Best wishes!!

January's gone!!

With just a blink of the eye, and January is gone!! just like that..it seemed like just a few days ago that i was watching fireworks decorating the skies, welcoming the new year. Time sure flies! One month of 2005 has passed, and i have barely done anything. Just the same old same old. *sigh*

Anyhoo, got the keys to our new house today. Went over just now to check for damages, n i chose my room!! i booked my room..n no other can have that room!! ehhehe. i think it's a pretty cool house. spacious n everything. So, we'll be moving in this weekend with the help of our faithful friends!!

On a second note, i've been thinking a lot lately. Of only one thing. It bothers me to a certain extent. But on the other i hesitate to take a step forward. God please help me think straight.

Scaring the hell out of myself

As already noted, my house was burglared somewhere last week. On thursday morning, i got a phone call from my bro at work. I was still sleeping then..it was probably slightly past 11am. He told me to go to the window n that there was a car parked outside..with 2 guys in it..doin absolutely nothing..looking suspicious n all..he freaked the hell out of me! While i was peeping one of the guys actually saw me..n just fled off..right away! What made matters scarier was that i was all alone at home..for the whole day till both of them got back from work. So, me, all freaked out, was alone at home, with a metal rod on my right and a cricket bat on me left, restlessly watched tv. We went to the police station in Oakleigh when my bro got back from work, n told them bout this.

Friday was so blardy hot! Lee Ping came over to use the phone as hers was disconnected. Asked her is she was able to be at my house for about an hour or so while i was at work till my bro got back. So she did come over just before i left for work. So nice of her! At work, it was really really hot too..everyone was taking the opportunity to go to the cool room!! ahhah..was a very free nite..not many tables. Today at work was the same, wasn't busy at all. Nothing particularly interesting.

We're goin to IKEA tomorrow. Since we're gonna be moving house soon, we're goin furniture hunting! HEhhehe..hope to find nice nice things in IKEA!

Nites people.

~Precious gems in my life~ 

Back in Aussie land!!

Yeashhh..i'm back in the land down under. Was very a good flight actually. Flew with mom to KLIA..then went our separate ways from there. Her flight was earlier..so i had to hang around there longer..but it was alrite..went window shopping! Only bought a bottle of Jim Beam. When i checked in to the passenger lounge for my flight to melbourne, saw this hottie..was so good looking..but me too chicken to talk to him. Hahahha n guess what..he was sitting right in front of me. wasted.

Anyways watched a couple of movies on the flight and played some games. food was ok-ok only. at least the cabin crew were better than those on my flight home! When i reached Melbourne airport, had to get some cigs from duty free for my bro's frens. The queue for customs n immigration was so blardy long..cos i already wasted time buying stuff at duty free or else i would have been at the front of the queue. The queue for baggage declaration was even worse!! it was way way way too long! lucky thing the guy checking my bags was a nice person. i got thru without anything being confiscated. *yay* Alvin came to pick me up from the airport then.

All the way home was talking with my bro about the burglary that happened at my house. YES! some stupid jokers came in AGAIN! I'm guessing its the same guys who came in the last time..cos accordingly it happened the same way. Guess that they have been targeting our place already..n since most of the time no one was at home cos everyone's at work, they had plenty of time to commit their crime.

Damn burglars!! Hope u rot in hell!!

So hard to believe

Today I discovered something which strangely had an impact on me. Well at least I think what I discovered is true. Or should I say I believe what I discovered to be true as i speak.

It really made me feel so sad..I myself don't know why, but I just feel sad. To a certain extent, I find it impossible to be true. So hard to believe..It's like glass..suddenly shattered into pieces.

I can't do much about it. I still find it so hard to believe...

Out all day!

Just got back bout an hour ago. I've been out the whole day today..since the time i woke up! Went to the travel agent first..then went to the optician..then went out for lunch..then Pei Chen called..asking whether i wanted to follow her go buy some stuff..since i was out already..i offered to pick her up. But before that i had to go to the bank to make a draft. finished that then only went to her place.

Went to the photo shop as she wanted to print a few pics..met evelyn there. It's been a long time since i last saw her..can't even recall when. Went to Central Square after that. Just for a while tho..she bought lotsa stationaries n craft paper!! lol..Mom called..asked me to fetch her..picked her up n sent her home..That's when Pei Chen n me went for laksa!! *yummy* Seriously...the laksa was yummmmssss!!! chit chatted a while..sent her back then headed home. I just had like half hour or so..just had my shower n went over to my fren's place. Had dinner there n yes more chit chatting! lol.. My fren's dog had puppies!! So tiny!! ahah my dad already booked one of the puppies =P Came back home for about an hour before I went out again!! ahahah..Picked Renee up n went to Cacao for a drink..sat there for more than 2 hours..just the 2 of us..n yes..yacking again!! old stories..new updates on friends..we talked about almost everything under the sun! ahahha.. Sent her back..n that's when i got home..

So tired now..guess i'm off to bed soon..nites!!

Upside down

By right, i should be in dreamland at this hour in the morning! I know it's bad for my health..but I can't help it! I love being awake at this hour..n i love to sleep during the day even more! I have some serious problems with my biological clock. It's all upside down.

Anyhoo, had lunch with friends today. Wasn't too bad. By the time i came back was 2pm-ish. Didn't have much to do during the day..so dug into my collection of old movies..n found Pretty Woman. I simply absolutely LOVE that movie! what's not to love about it? it's fantastic! I can watch it over n over n over again..with not even the slightest sign of boredom.

Did some shopping for more stuff to take back. Not much actually, it was more like those small items - some toiletries n stuff.

Well, since it's late..or should i say early in the morning..I really should TRY to get some sleep..I'm driving my mom C-R-A-Z-Y!! cos i get up past noon EVERYDAY! hahaha..anyways..i'm outta here!

After a while...

After a while...
U learn that love doesn't mean learning,
And company doesn't mean security,
And u learn that kisses ain't contracts,
And presents ain't promises,
And u begin to accept your defects,
With your heads up and eyes open,
With the grace of an adult,
Not the grief of a child,
And u learn to build your road for today,
Cos tomorrow's road is too uncertain.

After a while...
U learn that sunshine burns if u get too much,
So plant your garden and decorate your soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to give u flowers,
Learn that u really endure,
That u are strong.

It's been a while

Almost a month!! almost a month since i last logged in to blog. I haven't really had the time to do it since i came back to Malaysia. Once i landed was busy with Christmas already. Visited lotsa people too..from all over!! everyone i could meet. New year's eve wasn't particularly grand, but it was alrite. Had a reunion with my group of frens - steamboat. Went for the new year's countdown after that. The MC there was really really super funny - was a pondan!! Kept on laughing non stop! That same week went clubbing with frens as well. God the DJ was bad..but ok la..still acceptable..played a lot of old songs..n he kept repeating the same songs..made us sick!

Went down to KL just this saturday. Reached sunday morning n my cousin came to fetch us from Puduraya. Went back to his place n slept for a while then had breakfast n steamboat again..kinda small family reunion. Well the main purpose of our trip was to visit my 2 cousins n their new born kids. SOOOO CUTEEEE!! one's just 2 months the other's 10 months. Sent my parents back to puduraya with my cousin on monday evening. My cousin dropped me off at Pyramid, cos i wanted to meet my Monash Msia frens there. Suyin, Foong n Ching Wei came to fetch me later that evening n went back to Cyber. Had the greatest time at Cyber. Met up with old housemates there. Had so many chit-chat sessions till the wee hours of the morning. Reminising old times. Went shopping in 1-U almost the whole day..bought quite a bit of stuff..finished up all my money there! LOL...but it was worth it..i loved all the stuff i bought!! Came back to sp last nite. by the time i reached was almost 11pm.

Called Malaysia Airlines this morning to reschedule my flight. Some Megat fella answered the phone..he sounded so lifeless..but he was ok..managed to change my flight.

Till the next time..Outs!