A Dog Called "Sex"

Hey guys..check this out..i read it somewhere n it's really funny!!

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him"Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said,"But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand.... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over.I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding.

The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around.I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor,I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday.

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day-when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."

Movie marathon

Thursday nite:
After Gothika, continued watching more movies: Euro Trip and The Girl Next Door. These 2 movies were so-so only.

Friday:
Went for classes, came back n continues our movie marathon. Started off with Along Came Polly, then went on to Scary Movie 3, Jackass and King Authur. We only watched King Authur halfway tho, too tired already n we were sleeping halfway thru the movie.

Saturday:
Went for a job interview today, was quite nervous at first. But the lady was nice, that calmed my nerves a bit. And YES!! i managed to get a job! It's a waitering job. So i'll be under training at first, then she'll see if i'm ok to continue working there.

.....

Had nothing much to do yesterday, so i took a bus ride to Glen Waverley. Walked around a while then came back. Went out for dinner, it was an early dinner at 6pm. Had home cooked lamb chop at around 10pm. Watched Gothika..it wasn't that bad a movie..

Melbourne Show

Got up damn early this morning, at 7:30am. Went to the Royal Melbourne Show. Took the train down to the city n another connecting one from city to showgrounds. Really nice weather to spend the day. Was there till bout 2pm-ish, then went to the city for lunch-had jap food. walked around the city a while before heading home.Was dead tired by the time we reached home (cos i only slept for about 4 hours the nite before).

Cookies

Since i slept thru the afternoon yesterday..i couldn't sleep at nite..was just surfing around when Yin Peng wanted to bake cookies~!!! so we started baking at around midnight..ahahha we made chocolate chip cookies..we made 3 batches..the 1st batch was a trial batch..the 2nd n 3rd were yummy~!!! we finished at 2am-ish.. so much fun!

Went to uni today..handed in my assignment then went for tutorial..such a waste of time man that tute..but still have to go..participation marks. if not for that i wouldn't even bother goin.

So damn sleepy now..gonna get to bed soon.

Nites~

Sleepless nite...

Was doin my assignment whole of yesterday nite. Seriously started doin about almost 6pm. Had to read a lot of journals n other readings..which took me ages to finish..skipped dinner cos i had a late lunch..but got hungry at almost midnight..so went downstairs n fixed myself a sandwich. after eating continued doin my assignment..only started writing out the essay at almost 3am..so yea..no sleep at all..managed to finish it at 8am this morning..n yes that's when i got to bed.

Slept thru the whole afternoon n only woke up at 3pm. Had lunch at 4, then started editing my assignment n printed it out. Watched aus idol, only the 1st half hour tho..cos had to be at Lee Ping's for dinner at 7:30pm. So went over there n continued watching idol..after dinner chit chatted away among ourselves..the 8 of us were SO noisy! ahhah

Quite a fun day..although i didn't do much~

Damn ASS-ignments #$%@!!!

Uni life is so full of assignments..sigh..but what to do? i have an assignment due on Monday which is 35%..it's some research essay..n i've only done a little research..i better get started on it a.s.a.p.

Later days~

TGI Friday~!!!

Friday:
As usual i skipped my 10am class..i only went to uni for my 12noon tutorial..waited for Tony in front of the library, cos that's where we usually meet to go for lunch..no sign of him anywhere..called him up n found out he's sick..poor thing..so it was just Jill n me for lunch..we went to Piper's - the food wasn't that bad. went for lecture at 2pm, n had a tute following that at 4pm. so pathetic man..only 3 of us in tute~ wat happened to the rest~??! anyways headed for the library after that to do some research for my assignment..was there till about 630pm b4 heading home.

Had dinner at Lee Ping's place, n when we came home started karaoke-ing..till 11:55pm..cos we had to go over to Lee Ping's again..to surprise Lee Chin~! yea her birthday..nice nice cake..some green tea one..

Sob sob

Shit man..seriously no mood to do assignment today..yea la especially after getting scolded..sob sob..partly my fault la..but then i didn't know mar...c nobody tells me stuff~!

Earlier in the afternoon was chatting with Aileen online..we were using MSN messenger at first..then she said that she was testing out her yahoo messenger...hhaha once i got her yahoo ID..that's where the fun began..started using ALL..n yes i mean ALL the IMVironments..started playing with all the smileys n the BUZZ!!! heheh there was one particular M&M INVironment..where u could draw stuff with M&M's..ehehhe we didnt know that we could see each see what the other was drawing..it was more like 2 of us sharing the same drawing..the audibles in yahoo messenger was AWESOME~!! so cool man..so many kinds of things u can say..go try it out sometime..i swear u'll have fun~!!

Yay~!! Jill n me, we're gonna discuss what to do for our assignment since we're both doin the same topic..at least we'll come up with an outline of what to write about..Check this out: how dumb can the lecturer be..the readings for each topic is ONLY in books n NOT journals..n each topic is being done by at least 25 students..the library only has max 3 copies of each book~! how on earth are we supposed to get our hands on those books??~ insane~!!

Haih...i'm such a lazy-bum...

Rude awakening...

Wednesday:
Some blardy idiot woke me up this morning..that joker was drilling the footpath directly in front of my house~ IT WAS SO DAMN LOUD!!! spoilt my sleep only..haih..so woke up, had my shower, ate lunch, n started doin my work...reading journals sure make me super sleepy~

The weather today is wierd..sunny a while.. then rain.. then sunny again.. then rain again..wanted to go to the post office n newsagent..but the moment i stepped out it rained..so had to wait till it got sunny..one i saw the sun i quickly went out~!! did my stuff, dropped by Coles the fruit shop n bought some stuff..i knew i forgot to buy something, but it was only when i reached home did i remember what it was.. BREAD~!! ehehe..

Jay Leno

Tuesday nite:
Did some reading for friday's tute..Finished up my reading report as well..I've got an assignment to start on..but i'm just not in the mood to do it..only managed to do some research till about 2am or so..hahha yea i work better last minute - cos i know i don't have time to waste at all..hence, i'm more productive~!

Wanted to sleep early so that i can wake up early tmrw, but couldn't..ended up watching Jay Leno on the Comedy Channel with junior till about 4am..then only went to bed..

Chao~

Umbrella

Tuesday:
Wat a way to begin the day, we (Junior n me) woke up around the same time - was probably around 3pm already~ ahha yea that early! yin peng came over, n the 3 of us went to have lunch at Moza. Ordered the "usual" ehhehe..they were showing this hindi black and white movie..n all of a sudden the movie was in colour..God alone knows what movie that was~!! hehehe..
We were walking back home with our umbrellas - cos it was raining when we went out, but it had already stopped when we were on our way home..all of a sudden junior started dancing..ahhah like those in the 40s i guess..with the umbrella, too bad he didnt have tap shoes n a top hat..if not that would have been a classic image~! made us burst out laughing..

Was watching "unforgetable idol". The worst performers on earth to us..but to themselves they thought they were the best singers ever~ yea rite~ the first girl who sang..she was more like screaming..had totally no idea what song she sang..hahah n Flynn had lotsa supporters~!! hilarious dude..

Outs~

Vindicated~

Monday:
Skipped class today..well actually i overslept, hehhe as always. smsed Joanne, asked her to get me a copy of the lecture handouts. Joanne also told me that at seems in tute, our fav jap tutor mentioned that ALL of us did badly for our individual assignment - it's either we really really really did crap, or she just doesn't know how to mark~! Anyways, i'm just hoping to at least get a pass in that.

It's Pei Chen's birthday today~ we went out for dinner to Sofia's at Wheelers Hill. Nice nice food there. It's much better than La Porchetta! We got a shock when the 2 large cheese garlic bread was served~!! It was so huge..much bigger than the pizza itself! But it was all good. Later went back to her house. Had the cake cutting ceremony..photo sessions..n she was screaming "woi..take picture!" hehhe cake was yummy but we were all too stuffed to really enjoy it.

Was watching idol results which was recorded..poor Dan he's out~ HE SHOULDN'T BE OUT~! he had such a husky voice..damn u voters..was also watching Queer Eye~Carson never fails to crack me up!


Dan O'Connor


Dan (left) & Hayley

p/s: try listening to this song: vindicated by dashboard confessionals ~ love it~!

Bummer...

Damn the weekend's over already~! n tmrw's MONDAY~ gonna have to go thru the same ol' mundane monday...i wonder what my jap tutor has in store for us tmrw - hopefully not some crappy stuff like last week.

Was watching aus idol earlier on, some performances were super but a couple were lousy. I reckon hayley shouldn't be in the competition..she ain't that good~!

Anyways, i'm off to do some other stuff now..

Cheerios~

Trial & Error

Came across a few blog thingies..n figured this was the nicest..i dunno, but it just seemed more appealing to me.
So since this is my 1st posting, i'm just testing it out~